74 Lakeview Avenue by Barb McIntyre

Author:Barb McIntyre [McIntyre, Barb]
Language: eng
Format: epub

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Happy Women (Jackie)

It is Wednesday night, and the Happy Women are meeting again. Jackie is reading.

“When I was a little girl, I wanted a penis. Well before I realized the power and privileges associated with that appendage, I was jealous because they could pee outside, and I couldn’t. I much preferred the rough and exciting games the boys played. And I was fast and coordinated enough that having me on their team overcame their prejudices towards females – most of the time. It seemed to me that they purposely taunted me with my deficiency by peeing often and everywhere, and my rage at having to interrupt play to go into the house frequently led to damp underwear.

“Society, in the form of my parents and peers, led me through childhood and early adolescence properly – I have to admit actually pushed, pulled, and kicked in my case – and I arrived at university eager to obtain my Mrs. as well as my B.Ed.

“I received the first only two days after the second. Bruce was going to continue studying. He wanted an MBA to complement his engineering degree. I was going to teach grade four at a school a short forty-five-minute bus ride away.

“From the very beginning, I hated being number two. The old ad about number two trying harder is unfortunately true. Not only do we women try harder, but we also do more, give more, and get a great deal less. Just think, I brought home the money, but he decided how to spend it. I worked hard all day – just maintaining your sanity in a room full of twenty-eight children for five hours a day is hard work – rushed home to cook, clean, shop, entertain, and offer unlimited ego support to number one. The whole scene is difficult to believe.

“What is even more difficult to believe is that I’m still doing it, except that now there are two more number ones for number two to do for.

“The thing is that I really don’t want any of the alternatives. And it’s a lot better now than it used to be. Bruce and I have had a few very bad periods, and I won’t deny having thought of leaving him, but overall, I believe that the good outweighs the bad. I was trying to explain it in a letter to my friend, Abigail, the other day. I think that when you cut past the myths, the built-up resentments, and the fatigue that comes with too many have-to-dos and not enough time for want-to-dos, what you end up with is the fact that it wouldn’t be any easier if you were alone.

“I’ve seen too many of my friends, and their friends, pay a high emotional price for their freedom only to discover that after the excitement wears off, they’re just as miserable as they were. They’ve dumped a lot of problems but acquired new ones. I’m convinced that if the problems, and I think you can equate problems with

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